IM with the cullens! yay!
by pinkcrayon1101
Summary: Mkay, so I know this is REALLLLLLLLLLLLLY overdone.. but I wanted to do it! I hope you find it funny! lol. The names should be pretty obvious..................................... HOPE YOU LIKE IT! **Please read, as you probably know, I suck at summaries**
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Nope, I'm Lilly, not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own Twilight.. Or new Moon... Or Eclipse... Or... Edward. BOOH HOO.

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****mkay. I know that there's like, a million and two of these, but bare with me mkay? mkay. keep in mind that this is A COMEDY. lol  
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_wannabeavampire has signed on_

_noodlebear has signed on _

wannabeavampire says: Emmett? What's up with your name?!

noodlebear says: um............ noodle??

wannabeavampire says: uh....

_cars+shoes=life has signed on _

cars+shoes=life says: What the hell Emmett?

noodlebear: ilu?

cars+shoes=life says: Where did you even get that name from?

noodlebear says: TV

wannabeavampire says: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha the TV? good excuse.

_pixiestick has signed on _

pixiestick says: Ohmigod Emmy! Did you get that off of the Suite life of Zach and Cody?!

noodlebear says: yea. totally.

cars+shoes=life says: you have issues. All _three_ of you.

wannabeavampire says: Why do _I _have issues?!

cars+shoes=life says: b/c u love edward. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha

_cars+shoes=life has signed off_

wannabeavampire says: THATS RIGHT! RUN!

_wannabeavampire has signed off_

noodlebear says: you know I didn't actually get this from that TV show rite?

pixiestick says: yea... I just wanted to see what would happen. Hey... why the heck is Bella dancing around a fire outside...Oh shit.

_pixiestick has signed off_

noodlebear says: Im all alone :'(

_yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl has signed on _

noodlebear says: woah Eddie, whats up with the name?!

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: I'm trying to send Bella a message... but what is the matter with you? Noodle bear?

noodlebear says: I have no idea.

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: Um.. where's Bella?

noodlebear says: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... I think she's outside burning Rose in a fire...

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl: WHAT?! BELLA IS CLOSE TO A FIRE?! SHE COULD GET BURNT! AHHHHH!

_yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl has signed off _

noodlebear: well, that was entertaining..........

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_pixiestick has signed on_

_cars+shoes=life has signed on_

pixiestick says: I like the name rose ;)

cars+shoes=life says: I thought you would lol.

pixiestick says: wait a sec...... I thought Bella burnt you in the fire for making that comment about Edward...?

cars+shoes=life says: No, she just wanted to practice her tribal dances for this year's prom.....

pixiestick says: ........

pixiestick says: wanna hear a joke?

cars+shoes=life says: do I have a choice?

pixiestick says: NOPE.

cars+shoes=life says: *sigh* go ahead then.

pixiestick says: Mkay. Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

cars+shoes=life says: A _BLONDE _JOKE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

pixiestick says: Yes, shut up. Ok so, The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."

cars+shoes=life says: I really dont care Alice.

pixiestick says: The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."  
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."  
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

cars+shoes=life says: THATS NOT FUNNY!

wannabeavampire says: hahahaha yea it is!

pixiestick says: Um........ when did you get here?

wannabeavampire: Oh, I've been here the entire time :p

pixiestick says: ..............................................................

cars+shoes=life says: that's creepy.

wannabeavampire says: Apples are more efficient than caffeine in keeping people awake in the mornings.

pixiestick says: that's um........

cars+shoes=life says: CREEPY.

wannabeavampire says: A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge; a dime has one less groove.

pixiestick says: YOU KNOW THIS YET YOU CANT MATCH CLOTHES PROPERLY

cars+shoes=life says: that one's just weird.......

wannabeavampire says: If you unfolded your brain, it would cover an ironing board.

cars+shoes=life says: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwww

pixiestick: What happened to our brains when we became vampires..?

cars+shoes=life says: WHY WOULD I KNOW?!

wannabeavampire says: 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

pixiestick says: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

cars+shoes=life says: *sigh* I g2g fish Emmett out of the toilet bai.

wannabeavampire says: ANTS DONT SLEEP.

pixiestick says: that's enuf Bella.

wannabeavampire says: The average person laughs 13 times a day.

pixiestick says: hahahaha oh look... there's one down. 12 to go. You're weird... even for a human.

wannabeavampiresays: A gold fish's memory span is three seconds.

pixiestick says: This explains so much.................

_pixiestick has signed off

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	2. randomest chapter ever

**Disclaimer: Nope, I'm Lilly, not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own Twilight.. Or new Moon... Or Eclipse... Or... Edward. BOOH HOO.

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****mkay. I know that there's like, a million and two of these, but bare with me mkay? mkay. keep in mind that this is A COMEDY. lol

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( is me lol and ihatelife is iluvedwardcullen4ever (Stephanie))

_wannabeavampire has signed in_

_pixiestick has signed on_

wannabeavampire says: HAI

pixiestick says: Please spare me the random facts...

_ihatelife has signed on_

ihatelife says: I hate life.

wannabeavampire says: WHO ARE YOU?!

ihatelife says: Mrs. Emmett Cullen.

pixiestick says: ooohhhh Rose is gonna kill you!

ihatelife says: BWAHAHAHAHA I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND DESTROY ALL OF THE MALLS.

pixiestick says: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ihatelife says: deal with it.

wannabeavampire says: HOORAH!

ihatelife says: I LUVERS EMMETT CULLEN 3 3

pixiestick says: I have to go shopping if all the malls r gonna be destroyed! BAI

_pixiestick has signed out _

ihatelife says: It's jasper..

wannabeavampire says: what...?

ihatelife says: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ive got a bomb.

wannabeavampire says: Can i be afraid...?

_ has signed in_

wannabeavampire says: WHAT?!!!!!!!??!?!?!?!?!1

MrsEdwardCullen says: HAI

ihatelife says: bwahahhahahahahahahahahaha

MrsEdwardCullen says: OH HAI STEPH

ihatelife says: HI LILLY. IVE GOT A BOMB.

MrsEdwardCullen says: Thats........

wannabeavampire says: creepy? weird? sadistic? emo? annoying?

MrsEdwardCullen says: Um, sure.

_noodlebear has signed on_

MrsEdwardCullen says: HAI! STEPHANIE LOVES YOU.

noodlebear says: Who the heck is that?

ihatelife says: me.

noodlebear says: sawwwwwwwwwwwwwweet.

ihatelife says: i made a shrine to you.

noodlebear says: HOORAH.

MrsEdwardCullen says: Um.......... thats kinda creepy.......

ihatelife says: SHUDDAP LILLY.

MrsEdwardCullen says: Shutting up.

wannabeavampire says: PURPLE RABBIT!

MrsEdwardCullen says: I hear that the easter bunny is purple.

wannabeavampire says: LETS GO CATCH IT.

MrsEdwardCullen says: MKAY!

_wannabeavampire has signed out_

_MrsEdwardCullen __ has signed out _

_yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl has signed on_

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: LOOFA.

ihatelife says: I hate loofas.

noodlebear says: ....

ihatelife says: I HAVE A GRENADE.

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: THATS AWESOME. let's put it in Alice's closet

ihatelife says: sweet. Can we kill Rose too? I want Emmett all to myself. CUZ IM GREEDY.

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: YEA. I LIKE ALICE BETTER N E WAY. LETS KILL ROSE.

noodlebear says: WOOHOO!

ihatelife says: i have TNT.

noodlebear: where do you get all this stuff?!?!?!?!?!

ihatelife says: WALMART.

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: sweet. We'll have to go there.

ihatelife says: I'll bring you the explosives.

_ihatelife has signed off. _

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: Hey, Em... who was that?

noodlebear says: I thought it was Jazzy.

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: Um......... no.

noodlebear says: shit.

_noodlebear has signed off_

_yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl has signed off_

_ihatelife has signed on _

ihatelife says: OH! I forgot... what's your adress? Guys? HELLO? hehhehehehe. bomb. BOOM!

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_MrsEdwardCullen__ has signed on_

_yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl has signed on _

MrsEdwardCullen says: O-M-C.

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: what now?

MrsEdwardCullen says: ITS REALLY YOU!

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: Hey, where's your creepy friend?

ihatelife says: BWAHAHAHA.

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: WOAH! when did you get here?

ihatelife says: IM ALWAYS HERE.

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: .....

MrsEdwardCullen says: I LIKE RAINBOWS.

ihatelike says: I hate rainbows.

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: ummm......

MrsEdwardCullen says: I LOVE EDWARD

ihatelife says: I LURVE Emmypoo!

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: Rite.

MrsEdwardCullen says: I MUST GO FIND THE HIDDEN IDOL OF MT. FSHDA.

ihatelife says: Oh... I think i already blew up that mountain.

MrsEdwardCullen says: :'(

_MrsEdwardCullen has signed off_

_****ADKWARD SCILENCE****_

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: so.....

ihatelife says: so......

MrsEdwardCullen says: THE SNACK THAT SMILES BACK

wannabeavampire says: GOLDFISH!

MrsEdwardCullen says: OMG. IT MATCHES THE MIDAS SONG. trust the midas touch!

wannabeavampire says: GOLDFISH!

ihatelife says: I hate goldfish

wannabeavampire says: goldfish have a memory span of 3 seconds.

wannabeavampire says: Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

MrsEdwardCullen says: A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans.

wannabeavampire says: Fifteen people are known to have been crushed to death tilting drinks machines towards them in the hope of a free can of soda.

MrsEdwardCullen says: WHA! THATS DEPRESSING!

wannabeavampire says: I KNOE! IF ONLY THEY WERE ALL VAMPIRES! *hint hint eddie ;)

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: don't even think about trying to crush yourself with a drink machine Bella.

MrsEdwardCullen says: TOO LATE :'(

ihatelife says: *sigh* wow, i really need to get new friends. I hate sun.

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**THE END. **


	3. edward, emmett, alice, and bella insane

**this... could be a really weird chapter. who knows. (im sick dont judge me) and for some reason im in a dress. at 9:38 PM.... who knows what goes on inside my head... :) Enjoy!**

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_yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl has signed on_

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: anyone here?

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: wow, thats depressing.............

_noodlebear has signed on _

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: EMMY!

noodlebear says: hey ed.

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: wassssaup?!

noodlebear: Ed, ur my lil bro. cant you go find someone else to harass? like Bells?

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: ..... its not as much fun. she likes it when I follow her and talk to her...

noodlebear says: ....great.

_pixiestick has signed in_

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: ALI!

pixiestick: oh, uh, hi.

noodlebear says: what are u doin alice?

pixiestick says: who? me? oh, nothing. Hey.... did Esme grab the rice crispies for Bella? And where's the hydrogen peroxide?

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: ......... alice.... what are u doing?

pixiestick says: nothing heh...heh...heh.... right. so WHERES THE CEREAL?!

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: try the cupboard.

noodlebear says: oooh, and the perox-a-whatever is in a safe along with the other chemicaly things that we keep in the house...

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: why are they locked up? and why do YOU know that?!

pixiestick says: Shmank you Emmy bear! MWAH! Ed, eh, thanks.

_pixiestick has signed off_

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: I wonder what she's gonna do with that stuff....

noodlebear says: I dont think we want to know.... but im a going to find out! SHERLOCK DARTHVADER SKILL VAN HOSSMERE TO THE RESCURE AHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHH!

_noodle bear has signed off_

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: im all alone again :(

_wannabeavampire has signed on_

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: Bella love!

wannabeavampire says: oh, hey. do u know where I could find Alice's most prized posession?

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: try her closet. Probably her credit cards or something.

wannabeavampire says: ooh! thanks eddie-kins! bwahahahahahaha

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: what do u want it for, love?

wannabeavampire says: uhm..... oops, gotta go! 3 (K) **(AN: for anyone who doesnt know, on MSN thats a heart and a kissy-lip thing lol) **

_wannabeavampire has signed off_

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says:depressed.

_pixiestick has signed on _

pixiestick says: you didnt tell bella where to find my purse/credit cards did you?

**bella off in distance** : BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: uhm, no?

pixiestick says: EDWARD!

_pixiestick has signed off_

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: I cant do anything right :(

_noodlebear has signed on_

noodlebear says: hey, uh, you know that the girls are like, having a full out war right?

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: WHAT?!

noodlebear says: yea.... Alice is throwing hydrogen peroxide at bella while she burns/cuts credit cards and rose is trying to find something....

yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl says: OH NOES!

_yourenevergoingtobeavampiresojustgiveupalreadyyousillygirl has signed off_

noodlebear says: im SOOOO good at starting these fights!

*edward in distance*: WHAT THE HECK ARE U DOING?! ZOMG. STOPPPPP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

noodlebear says: *sigh*. sad that he cant keep one shread of dignity.

_noodlebear has signed off. _

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**okie dokie. so there's one more chapter to add to the ranks. Sorry if it makes no sense..... as i said, im sick and it only took me less than 30 mins to write, and one of my friend is having guy issues. OH and btw; my friend thinks its all girls who read my stories, im trying to prove her wrong just a little. So if there is one guy out there, put it in ur review and any guys who does will be put into a chapter of a story of their choice! OKIES. ta-ta for now ;)**

**pinkcrayon1101**


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